Last weekend the AKC held World Team Tryouts, and Zi and I weren’t there. There are some logistical and technical reasons for this, but the CORE of why I didn’t even try is because I recognize two things about myself and the adventure I desire to create:
First, I don’t want to chase ALL the things. That’s too much for me. I like my time in the mountains and at home too much. The balance that suits me doesn’t suit chasing all the big events and qualifications in multiple venues. And that’s okay.
Second, I don’t want to make decisions out of FOMO. More generally speaking, I don’t want to be guided by fear of any kind. I decided that years ago, and it’s been a continual process of remembering, and of asking myself: do you really want this, or are you just afraid you need it?
That doesn’t mean I don’t feel FOMO, because I definitely did last weekend! I LOVE tryouts. I love the pressure and the scoring and the people it brings together, and I won’t be doing another tryouts event until February 2025. So I watched as much of the livestream as I could (partially from one of my favorite spots in the mountains), and I invited and embraced that feeling.
Yes, I want to run those courses and measure our skills against those challenges. Yes, I want to see my name and Zi’s amongst those scores. And I will use that desire to sharpen my focus on the events we ARE targeting. I will allow that desire to carve out the space for new possibilities to be created.
Meanwhile, I’m at home, tinkering with some important points with Zi’s verbal cues. I’m at home, seeing progress on her weave pole training that I wasn’t able to get to all last year. I’m at home, teaching her new conditioning exercises and advancing old ones.
And I know I made the right decision, even if it stings a little. Lots of trials (especially BIG ones) leave little time to truly address training concerns. What’s the point of measuring the same old skills again? I need some time to create new ones.
Whatever you choose, choose with purpose. Choose with alignment and intent. Do you really want this, or are you just afraid you need it?
