On February 3, Zi and I got to stand on the top box for our first time as winners of the 24″ Biathlon at the UKI West Coast Classic.
I didn’t count, but it seems like I received more comments and congratulations about this achievement than anything in my agility career so far. That makes sense, because this is the kind of success everyone understands.
I appreciated those comments, and I appreciated the opportunity to stand on the box and have our picture taken. Because it IS important, and it DOES matter to me.
But I wondered if it mattered enough when I felt conflicted about this win being the conclusion of a trial that felt off for me. My mental game wasn’t what I would have liked. Some skills we’ve been developing didn’t test as well as I’d hoped. My Biathlon runs were good, but they weren’t my BEST work.
I found myself asking: should this mean MORE to me? Should I feel different about it?
I’ve learned in recent years that external validation is a coin with winning on one side and losing on the other. Praise on one side and criticism on the other. If you allow the wins or the praise to give you a high like nothing else can, the losses and the criticism will deliver lows you can’t control.
That’s why I decided my answer was no.
I celebrated that victory. I integrated the lessons it contained. And I placed it within the context of my own measures of success.
It didn’t erase the ways I fell short of my goals and values over the weekend, nor the room we have for improvement. And that is as I want it.
Because for me, podiums, prizes and other things at stake shall always be by-products of the real project. Welcome by-products, to be sure, but never the REAL reason for anything I do.
I believe we’re all capable of creating an agility experience that fills us with profound satisfaction and delight. I offer 1:1 coaching on mindset and thoughtful training to help my people realize that potential. Interested? Email me to discuss.
